Today, Tomorrow & Beyond

I'm sitting still before God this morning. LEARNING what feels like a hard lesson. I'm sitting to give myself time to process yet another thing that God is saying not right now. And it's hard. But He is teaching me. It was kind of like a dance. I got the news, I sang with a heavy heart, then I cried, then I started to get angry, I went to the Word and felt peace but then I felt kinda numb. How complicated can I be! But now I'm opening up here and recalling everything God is and everything I am just not. And it's ok. Slowly my mind is opening up to the possibilities of what God may have in store. AND I am remembering His truths and sacrifice. Even without Hai holding my hand thru it or burdening him while he is at work :) What I'm learning is I need to let go of this attention and "what about what I want" idol but I don't really know how. I pray that he would start to do a work in me. Today I am recalling a lot and feeling the weight of my sin in seeking attention for the many things that I FELT were just unfair and of all the unmet expectations.. So I'm just sitting with that this morning. Knowing that I need to go to God in all things and seeking Him. Please join me in prayer, so that God would help me see what I need to see. For He knows the pains of my heart. And sometimes I can't see..